Today I turn 30 years old. OK, I am actually writing this post still as a 29 year old but I wanted to write something so that in 10-15 years I can look back and remember what I felt like turning 30. I try to keep the posts on here light and easy but today I want to make an exception because turning 30 is a big deal in my eyes and what I am about to say I feel many can relate to, if you're turning 30 or not.
I'll start of by saying I had grand plans to do a fun 30th photoshoot with balloons and such but since well COVID happened, those plans sort of went out the window ha! So throwing it back to a shoot a few summers ago!
People say age is just a number, and maybe it is but turning 30 for me feels like something that not so long ago seemed incredibly far away. Going into 2020 I was excited for a new decade, a fresh start and boy was I surprised when none of that happened. Turning 30 in 2020, a monumental year for the world, seems so much less important than turning 30 in say 2018 or 2019 would have felt.
My 20s were the best years of my life... I graduated college, moved to a new city, got my first real job, fell in love and out of love, met and lost people and lived my life the best way I knew how to. There were a lot of ups and downs, a lot of tears and a lot of laughs but my 20s seemed like they would never end that I was going to be young forever and then 2020 hit. I had wanted to accomplish so much before I was 30. I I wanted to be married, have kids, buy a house, be settled and yet ironically none of that has happened.
As I entered 2020, I felt a slight disappointment that all my so-called "dreams and wishes" had not been met and I had so much to accomplish. I vowed to make the 6 months until I turned 30 the best and try to check off as many "boxes" as possible. This was quickly halted with the world as everyone knew it completely shifting and dreams of travels and social gatherings a long distance memory. I don't think it really hit me until June 1st rolled around. 30 days to me turning 30. The reality set in that I wasn't getting my dream 30th birthday. I'd be lucky if I even got to go out to a restaurant to eat dinner. I've come to terms with this because things could be much much worse and I am healthy and safe but I'm sure we can all agree that sometimes, especially now, the negative can seem to outweigh the positive. Something I struggle with is remembering to not focus on that negative aspect of things and that is changing now.
Turning 30 means so much more to me than I ever realized. I've managed to get through 3 decades of life on this planet. While that might not seem like a huge deal, when you really think about it, it's an amazing accomplishment. I've grown and learned but I've also loved and lost so much. I've finally realized what I want in my life and how to get there. I've learned how to take care of my needs and understand that life isn't always fair, 2020 has made that so apparent. Turning 30 means I get to see the birth of my first nephew in September, watch my sister become the mother she was always destined to be, watch the world around me continue to change for the better as people like me continue to fight for who can't speak up but most importantly, watch myself grow. I think what I was like from age 20-29 and it's so different, so what's age 30-39 going to be like? I'm so looking forward to this next chapter in my life and albeit I'm scared and nervous as hell at the same time, but I know that turning 30 doesn't have to be a bad thing, even in 2020.
So cheers to my 3 decades around the sun complete and what the future holds!
So until next time... Live Stylishly
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